Even now as I type this, I can't seem to break away from this habit. My fingers still seem to search for these stories, the horror of the dieing, twisted, mangled bodies, the evil chasing and the pain and fear of these "Creepy pasta's". To this second I still listen to them, watch the videos, read the stories, the joy and fear I feel, the chill of my blood as I plunge ever deeper into the sick twisted world of fear the human mind can create, but you're probably wondering what I'm talking about, let me start from the first encounter with this evil creation.
I was searching youtube, and stumbled across Jwizz if I recall his name correctly and his video about the haunted Lavender town. And as I listened to his explanation of this creepy pasta, my future was forever sealed into this twisted human creation. I shuddered at the thought of this creation, this... thing, that showed how sick and twisted the human mind can become. but I digress, I had moved on, for a time life seemed off, as I walked down the street a few days later to hangout with some of my friends It seemed as if my mind was wandering into this dark realm, searching for these signs that I was among the creepy realm of death and gore that these creations inhabited, my vision tunneled and I was starting to get freaked out... I had awoke a few hours later in the hospital, my friend's Sean and Diego by my side saying I had a seizure and they had found me by the sidewalk, unconscious and bleeding from my head, as if I had fallen and smacked my head into the concrete sidewalk. I glanced around the room and for a split second I thought I caught a glimpse of some dark figure in the corner of the room. Ignoring what I thought to just be a symptom of my waking up from a deep sleep, I began to explain to them what I had stumbled across, and after a bit of conversation, the name "Yuriofwind" surfaced. and after being released and taken home, I had turned on my computer and checked Facebook, to see if I had any messages, as per my usual routine and I had received a message from someone named Ben Drowned. I had laughed thinking it was a friend of mine sending me a message, to play a joke on me. but to my despair it was no simple trick, it was just a link to the wiki of this story, and after reading it. I had come to the conclusion that this is something I may enjoy checking out, and after looking up Yuriofwind on youtube, I had fallen into something I would never come out of, Mario, Sonic.exe, Squidwards Suicide, Haunted Silver, all of these stories had fascinated me beyond normal reason. I had begun to dream of these stories, As if I were to live them over and over, an endless night of pain and torture and I was dumb enough to search ever more into this culture of fear.
At the start I mostly stuck with the PoKeMoN Pasta's at first. They always interested me, a world of ghosts and animals with abilities beyond possible human nature seemed like a good start to try and scare myself silly. I started with PoKeMoN creepy black. The thought of a PoKeMon that could kill anything and everyone in it's path was an cool concept, but the destruction and pain it left in it's wake caused me to question the possibility of such a game's existence...... And then I found the rom.
After Installing the rom and playing the full game I went into a state of shock and fear, even though I knew it was a fake game and none of it was real I felt like I had done something wrong. I laid down in bed and tried to forget and relax, I drifted into sleep unknowingly I had a dream of Ghost form the Creepy Black version, fighting me, he used curse again and again, but for some reason it had no effect, I had grasped him, which was strange, he was a ghost, you're not suppose to grab them, but for some reason I was able to grasp him and as I did, it froze, and then it phased out, and then I fell into a dark never ending hole, and as I was falling I was enveloped in a dark and evil aura. I could sense it's malicious intent and it whispered "We have you" and I jumped up from my sleep like you usually do in dreams you have before you hit the ground. I looked over at my computer that had turned on, strange as it was I couldn't sleep so I went back to the internet and started searching on any reactions to some of these creepy pastas, however nothing seemed to surface. I had moved on seeing as I was just having a bad day or so it seemed, I proceeded to start up some Minecraft, maybe a little gaming could clear my head. Everything started normally, The game loaded, my mods seemed in order (I played with the direwolf20 pack) and I joined my server world where all my friends and I played, it was saved on my computer, so no one messed with it, everything seemed normal, so I grabbed some torches and my Ruby pickaxe and went mining. After about an hour or so the server messaged me "Herobrine has Joined the game" I stared in disbelief at the console. It showed 2 players on the server, but no one knew my server I.P. except my friends And you can't change your Minecraft name without buying an entirely new copy! Needless to say I was stunned. I closed my Minecraft almost instantaneously! I decided that I might just be needing to fill a craving I couldn't understand so I watched some more video's about some creepy pasta's. Mainly I entered Sonic.exe And for once, this was one Creepy pasta that I just fell In love with. When I first played sonic he fell into my heart, he will always have a special place there, but seeing him as the blood loving murderer this story made him out to be just filled a need I always seemed to have, seeing my favorite video game character turn into this gore loving animal, started to jolt me into some form of uncontrollable joy. I was like a psychopath! I downloaded the rom and played it, even though in the far reaches of my mind, I seemed to know something was brewing, I was going to end up in the same boat as those who suffered at the hands of this creation of hell.
After completing the game, I felt comfortable again, though the sun was rising, I crawled back into bed. I should have went to get some breakfast. My mind wandered yet again, watching Tails and Knuckles get massacred by the hyper sonic speed demon, it was almost too much to bare, what I seemed to enjoy almost disturbingly during my time awake, haunted me almost to the point of madness in my sleep, something had to give and my sanity seemed like the best option. I awoke when the sun was setting, my eyes were sore and red from tears streaming down my face during my horrible nightmare. I felt the pit of my stomach catch on fire as if I had been stabbed multiple times with some jagged piece of glass, like in my dream. My sense of reality was beginning to crash around me, but I couldn't stop myself, I had to keep going. My fate was finally sealed.
Months went by, I had locked myself in my room, only leaving for food and the bathroom, I had dropped out of school, my grades had plummeted, rendering my life in the foreseeable future possibly doomed, but day after day I searched for creepy pasta's I couldn't stop myself, it was like a drug, driving me on and on to never stop, it was something I couldn't control, a never ending drive for some sick, twisted satisfaction that wouldn't stop till it was met. Days and nights blended together. The world seemed to ignore me, friends came by to check if I was still alive, my parents had lost all hope for me and left me to my own devices, they always checked on me, and while I seemed fine on the outside, inside I was nothing but a sick, empty hallow shell, filled with horror and pain, grief that could never leave my physical body...
And that's when I found myself sitting in my room, with a knife held to my wrist. Hoping that the blood I shed would somehow clear my senses, but it only landed me in the Bay Care Mental Health Hospital, where I had 3 months of counseling. My mind had all but left me, and what replaced it was something far from the normal human thoughts, but a shell filled with hate and pain, disturbing images and violence, I would lash out at anyone who would try and help me. I didn't need help, I only needed to fill my desire. These stories drove me mad, when I slept I went to a place far beyond your normal dream realm. I went to what I call the beyond. It was filled with everything I feared and craved, the gap between awake and sleep was almost seamless in this insane. But this is only the beginning, My life was at the command of this ever existing force. We view it as a simple joke, something to enjoy for a good scare, something to question, Is it real? could it be real? Most of us would say no, the possibility of games and shows, stories and myths to come alive is viewed as silly by most everyone. But people like me. those who know, that no matter how much we are blinded by the illusion of what is real and fake, we know that there are some oddities that just seem to avoid all possible explanations. And this is just the beginning my friends, my story is still at it's early stages. Maybe I can finish it. but until then, keep an open mind.