October 2, 2013Edit
People get bored, it's human nature. So I play video games. I'm in middle school, and I'm constantly bullied and pushed around until just recently. I got kinda sick, so I stayed home for a day. When I came back, 2 people were missing from my second hour, one of my best friends, Paul, and my worst enemy, Bailey (It's a boy!). I come back tomarrow and Paul and Bailey were back. Bailey had a broken nose and a few teeth knocked out. I asked Paul, "What happened when I was gone?"
He was quiet for a bit and Paul said, "That bastard picked a fight with me, and was talking shit about both of us."
It seemed logical, Paul and I have violent tendencies, and I don't want to hear it's because we play violent video games. That's bullcrap, same thing with video games killing our brains. Just to prove the brains thing, Paul and I both have custom built computers. From that skill with computer hardware, we make about 700 a week. Most of the time, the problem is a wire is in the wrong place or something like that. When the school year started, I lost my flash drive. I got busy in my engineering class, honors science and math, mostly engineering though. No one has bullied me the whole week and it has been pretty great. I'm finally taken seriously, but that's not always a good thing. Like my so called "girlfriend" dumped me because she was using me the whole time, and didn't want to keep on lying. I told her I appreciate your honesty, and at least you didn't try to pull bull on me. But it's nice to know I won't have to hang myself and leave a note to get a point across, but anyways. How have you been? Has anything fancy came up in your life?
With Love, Marshall
October 9, 2013Edit
I have a feeling you haven't been getting my letters recently, or you just don't want to speak with me. I understand both. I'm no Mr. Popular, I never have, but last week was more of neutral and away from outcast status. Now it's back to normal. I know you and I have similar issues, I told Cami to back off and I haven't seen her around you recently, so did it work? Or is she still the same, just not when I'm around because she thinks I'm some kind mercenary you have around instead of a best friend? Nevertheless, I still wish I could talk to you face-to-face without becoming terrified and sprinting outside so my anxiety attack isn't too bad. I also got those Dr. Who figurines designed and ready to be printed through my 3D printer. I'll slide a few pictures in your locker and see if you like them or not. If you do, I can have Paul give them to you during the bus ride home. Also, Bailey started screaming about how he found Jesus and how we need him in our life too, or we'll be doomed by the second coming. It's annoying hearing that stuff all day. Almost as bad as the Jehovah's Witness that comes walking through our neiborhood 12 at night, but I have terrible insomnia so he's not inturrupting anything, usually just me eating a bowl of cereal or fixing a few computers. Sometimes overclocking my computer for better preformance in games. I'll be awaiting your response as always.
With Love, Marshall
October 14, 2013Edit
Hi sweetheart, there has been something fancy that has come up. It's time to tell you, you're someone I can trust, that will still act the same in front of me. I'm gay. I didn't tell you when we first met because I thought you would discriminate against me, but I know better now. I hope you will still be the same, but anyways. I'm surprised Bailey finally got some answers. Everyone needs them, wheather it's in a book of math and science like you and I, or the Bible like Bailey. Also I saw the pictures, I love them! Cami hasn't been giving me any trouble and she actually apologized to me. Call me over Skype, our Battlefield 3 squad needs some formation practice. We just had our asses kicked by your new step-brother, and I'm sorry for your loss. Gavin was a great person, and Trevor is a scumbag, and it wasn't your fault.
With Love, Autumn
October 16, 2013Edit
Of course I will except you all the same, and sorry it took so long to get back to you, I didn't get it until yesterday, and I left you something in your locker after school. The School Dance was coming soon, and I didn't know. I got on Battlefield 3, you weren't on. I thought you meant PC, not Xbox 360.
Yours Truely, Marshall
October 17, 2013 -SchoolEdit
I went to go see Autumn for once, I needed to talk to her face-to-face. I walked by her locker and she was with her girlfriend and just had her first kiss. I was heartbroken, and embarresed. I saw it, no once else did. After her kiss I walked over to speak with her.
She was pumped, really pumped. "Oh my god, that was amazing!"
I asked, "What?"
She looked at me and said," I know you saw that, don't try pretending you didn't, I appreciate you for hiding behind the corner for a few seconds to avoid ruining the moment."
I saw her girlfriend walking away with the rose and the sticky note I put in Autumn's locker. "At least you put that to good use." I mumble
"The Rose I put in your locker. Glad to know I helped you in some way with it, instead of it being a hinderance to you."
"Oh the rose? I used it because it was a really good rose, and I didn't know where you got it."
"My back yard, I have been growing it for about 3 years, waiting for the right person to give it too." I was really quiet at that point and she could tell I was upset, and sobbing. She hugged me and said I was her best friend. My sweatshirt sleeve went up and she saw the heavy slits on my wrist.
She kissed me on the cheek and said, "I better be getting to Spanish."
I was blushing a bit because I didn't know she saw the slits at the time and responded, " I should be getting to engineering."
October 17, 2013 -After SchoolEdit
Autumn, and Paul sat next to me that day, Paul was on the outside, he was at the first stop. Autumn and I were the only people at the last stop too. By that time I knew Autumn noticed, so I covered it up with the medical tape I keep in a interior pocket of my sweatshirt in the bathroom, and chased it with some pain killers. Bailey had fallen asleep on the bus and missed his stop. Autumn and I thought we were all alone and we had 15 minutes, but Bailey had woken up. He automaticly started being his old self. "Hey, fatty." He was looking at Autumn. I natively got pissed and I clenched my fist in rage, Autumn put my hand down. "Now you two don't have Paul helping you out, I can go Bezerk. Just hang yourself Marshall, do it." Autumn was kinda pissed now. "And Autumn, you're so gay, go make out with your whore girlfriend." I was going to Anger Management after school anyways, but I wasn't letting it go. We told the driver Bailey was still on, so he was driving back to his stop."This ends now! You fucking bastard, you have no origional ideas, your brain is compareable to a retarded fish's and you don't know what emotions are!" He was kinda scared I was going to kill him at that moment. Autumn weighed in at that point. "You're more of a bitch than my dog, you act like a fucking communist and when Marshall and I do hang ourselfs, I hope we see you burning in hell! Religion doesn't make you a fucking saint!" I punched him and broke his arm over a seat.
When we got off the bus, Autumn looked around to see if anyone was there. I said, "What are you looking for?" She ran towards me, hugged me and started crying on my shoulder. I started consoling her, "What's wrong?"
She looked at me and said," I saw those slits, I just don't want to lose you!" I looked at her wrists and they were scarred and cut.
I say, "Why do you do it? I do it because I wanted someone to take the time to notice, and maybe talk me out of hanging myself. To know someone cares enough to do so."
Autumn sobbed, "Same reason as you."
I said, "There will be no second coming, we're already in hell."
She came to my house because her father was abusive and her mother was a drunk. My parents weren't home though, they were out in Mexico. I asked her if she wanted to invite anyone over, she invited her girlfriend. I asked her if she minded if I stayed downstairs because I had to fix a large server computer that was probably 100 pounds that had a matching pay, 5,000 dollars. She said, "Of course not! Stay down here if you want to, your house right?"
I finished the server and tested it, it was working. Afterwards, I went through my steam library of games to see if there were any games to play, I was playing Doom while Autumn was with her girlfriend, Caitlyn, on the couch, cuddling and watching Supernatural on Netflix. I got up and tried not to get in the way of the screen and broke into the liquor cabinet. Cherry Vodka and some Gin. There were some painkillers in the cabinet and I took the pills and gin. I drank until I passed out. When I woke up Autumn and Caitlyn were still there, sleeping. I had all A's so I pretended I was sick that day to get out of school, I did the same for Autumn and Caitlyn because they overslept for school. By the time they woke up, I just finished making waffles, 6 eggs and 2 pots of coffee. I'm good at cooking for a guy, and I'm made fun of for it. Caitlyn was in our BF3 Squad, but our parents thought we were home. So I got BF3 on the server PC with plans of deleting it later. I told Caitlyn and Autumn they can practice, I'll be playing another game. It was Deus Ex Human Revolution. I wanted some RPG choices to take my mind off of real life, so I started a new save, and there was a difficulty below "Give me Deus Ex" It was "Give me God Of" I translated the term Deus Ex to english, it's god of. I figured it was an unlockable. I continued playing and it was extremely easy, too easy. I didn't need to take cover easy and I went through with full health. At the end of the introduction, Megan screeches, "Adam." and passes him a gun. I aimed at the Auged mercenary and got a headshot. I got back up and looked around, Megan was dead. I picked up the body and Adam screamed, "WHY! There is never going to be a second coming, there is no god, only me." He got the pistol and killed himself. Sarif brought him back to life as the normal game would go. Later on, I do the quest for Megan's mom and I keep the bracelet. I felt..................... guilty. At that point I passed out.
I was barely awake as I look up and see Autumn, violently shaking me, screaming. "MARSHALL! MARSHALL!" I just barely get up. "What happened?" Autumn askes.
I wasn't sure, I tried to speak. I couldn't, I had a few stitches on my wrists though. I was scared, I tried saying I don't know, but my mouth wouldn't move. I finally spoke and I only said, "A Second Coming."