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Not every game is put out for the public. There are some games that have been scrapped, unreleased, or taken down for various reasons. There existed one such game called abyssus-released in 1996-it was quickly taken down for some unknown reason. This was the year of flash player's initial release and this game was one of the first to utilize it. It was only available on one website which no longer exists. The website was called "www.gameland.net" however this URL no longer exists and there is no record of it ever existing.

Today I believe to have found that game. After years of searching for this apparently "lost or hidden game" I have finally found it, or so I think. Someone sold it to me through a certain website although the seller(whose name I will not mention)warned me of its contents. I was prepared for anything that day. The seller had claimed to have downloaded a copy of the flash game and put it on the disk. There was only one way to find out if it was the real game, and that was to put it on the computer. Admittedly, I was nervous and didn't want to go through with it but I had come so far and couldn't back down now. I was ready.

I inserted the disk into my computer and immediately noticed that my anti-virus software had picked up some viruses. It was easy getting rid of them since they were so old but I was confused: did the virus come from the seller or from the game itself. The title screen appeared. There was the word "abyssus" in red lettering and three buttons; start, options, and exit. The background was black with red fire at the bottom. I was intrigued and decided to continue on.

I clicked start and suddenly I jumped at the sight of a demonic picture of what appeared to be some creature. It was a creature with two horns like the horns of a goat on each side, hairy orange skin, and completely black massive eyes. After the pictures stopped getting duplicated I quickly got rid of them and moved onto the game itself. The game could best be described as terrible. The game kept making a loud screeching noise that at times got painful. The game consisted of what appeared to be a devil walking through a red landscape. The sky was completely pitch-black with some small dots which looked like stars. After spending hours trying to complete the game I had made some observations. After every 30 minutes or so a black and white image would pop up. I couldn't make out the image as it was only up for less than a second. At times the game felt borderline impossible and I would spend hours trying to complete each part. After about three hours suddenly a horrifying picture popped out. This picture depicted what appeared to be a man with their skin and muscle torn off. You could see clearly their stomach, lungs, and liver still attached to their body. In the man's hands were his intestines and the man's face was skinned only showing his muscle and bone. At this point, I felt more sick than scared.

As I sat there playing the game, suddenly something touched me. I started to feel nervous but shrugged it off. Again, I felt something touch me but this time I knew it was definitely something. Before I could turn around I felt a cold hand touch my shoulder, I immediately turned over to see...my friend standing behind.

"What the hell are you doing here and how did you get in?" I asked.

"Your mom let me in and I just wanted to see what you were doing" my friend responded.

I told him that I was pretty busy and that he should come back later. After much persuasion he finally left so I could continue with the game.

Anyway, as I kept playing I started to feel nauseous and sick. I was almost thinking of quitting until I had approached what appeared to be the end of the game. At the end was a yellow door which read in black lettering "enlightenment". This creeped me out but I reassured myself that it was only a game. I wondered what could be so "enlightening" and decided to go on.

I went up to the door and pressed enter. What I saw was rather unexpected. Instead of more gameplay, I saw a video. An oddly amazing video that I find hard to explain in words. The video was a five-minute clip that kept repeating itself for an hour. And I watched it for the full hour. After seeing it I felt unusual, I felt different. I felt as though I had been cleansed. Purified. It was truly amazing.

The video was of a man continuously moving through a dark corridor. Slowly the video turned from night to daytime although the footage appeared to be looped. As the man was walking, words and pictures would quickly appear on the screen for less than a second. It doesn't sound interesting but after watching it I felt different from when I started the game.

Finally, the game ended and my computer crashed. I took the game out of the disk drive. I didn't understand why the game was banned, if anything I felt more people should have a chance to experience that truly wonderful video at the end. I felt like a changed man. I started to smile and laugh from joy. It was the most beautiful experience I had ever had in my life. Like that game had given meaning to my life. My friend had rung the door bell. I went to the door and he asked me if I wanted to go hangout. I strongly declined saying "my purpose in life is greater than that, I have found a new calling". My friend thought I was acting weird and messed up, he just didn't understand. He didn't understand the truth I had found!

I sat in my room thinking, pondering. It wasn't me that was weird but everyone else that was. I had to spread the message of that video and that game! Sweat slowly went down my skin as I thought about that divine video. I decided to get some fresh air. I went outside and looked up into the blue sky. I closed my eyes as the cold wind slowly caressed my skin. The fresh smell of the air, the grass, and the plants were amazing. The beautiful sound of birds chirping was always calming. I had truly been enlightened.

My mom had called me. I told her that I was coming and then got back inside the house. I took the sharpest knife in the kitchen and slowly went up the creaking stairs to her room. Slowly by slowly I went. Indeed I had truly been enlightened.

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