Back in 2011 I bought a glitchy copy of Banjo Tooie for the Nintendo 64 for an extremely cheap price. The game models were screwed up and I heard a knock at the door. I answered the door and a Banjo plush was at my doormat covered in blood and sweat. I ran to my parents to show the Banjo plush. but by the time we got to plush the plush disappeared without a trace. My parents thought I was going coo coo crazy. I sold my glitchy copy of Banjo Tooie on ebay.
2 years later I made an Xbox Live Account and I bought Banjo Tooie for Xbox Live Arcade and I had fun with it, but just then I heard a knock at the door again. The Banjo plush was back and this time it wasn't alone this time. The Kazooie and Mumbo plush was covered in flesh remains of a human. I slammed my door hard and almost had a heart attack. I didn't want to call the police because they'll think I'm crazy, so I went back to playing Banjo Tooie and I completed the game, but then I heard footsteps coming and the Banjo, Kazooie, and Mumbo plushies came to my room and tried to kill me and my parents. We ran away safely and burned down the house. We went to get a new house and tried our best to forget the incident that happened.
5 years passed. I thought it was over, but a few months ago, I began having nightmares. In the nightmares, I was strapped to a table, and the Banjo plushie was standing over me. He told me that I needed to finish what he started. One day, I found a Banjo cartridge in the mail. It looked just like the cursed cartridge that started it all. I had the urge to play the game, so I did. As I played, my body morphed into a sexy bear body. "Gah-huh!" I was now Banjo. My mom walked in and screamed. "Why is there a bear in our house?" "You don't understand mom." I tore her to pieces like any vicious bear would. After killing my mom, I killed my dad, then went on a rampage across town. Several months later I tracked down Masahiro Sakurai and forced him to put me in Super Smash Bros Ultimate as DLC. My power continues to grow.
I am Banjo. I am god. Pray to me every night or I will eat you.
Written by Banjothegod and SolarFarle.