I slowly made my way up the stairs towards the old, ancient door with only my dog by my side. “Come home.” Your letter said all those years ago. I ignored it thinking that you were a monster, and shouldn’t have even been called my daughter, but little did I know you would start to fade away soon after. I never loved you before. I was such a fool.
I pressed my hand up against the wooden door, which creaked as my body weight crashed into it like a tidal wave. I couldn’t believe you stayed in this house so far from humanity. Then again you were, “Special”. I mean to see the dead must’ve been such a curse, and I didn’t even take the time realise it.
My eyes burned slightly, as my black Labrador pushed itself against my side knowing what kind of bitter sadness I was feeling at the time. I smiled a little at the thought of someone still loving me. I swept my hand away from the door woefully, and grabbed the bony handle, pushing the door open.
As soon as I entered the pitch black room, I was greeted by warm and cold memories, making me both jovial and pungent at the same time, a feeling I hated. I savoured every second that those warm memories swooped by me, and shuttered at the thought of the cold ones just waiting for them to pass on by.
I closed my eyes, and let my emotions enthrall me as a tear rolled down my cheek, and everything slowed down and I cracked open my grey cloudy eyes only to find myself in a dimly lit room, with you. “Jesse?” I wondered aloud. You were just sitting there in your night gown, which was much too big for you playing with a small wooden train I’d gotten you on your 5th birthday. Your back was facing me, and your long curly brown hair was stretching down to your mid back. “Jesse... It's me.” Before I could contribute more you asked, “What happened to mommy?”
I froze in place at what you’d just asked me. This must’ve been the night your mother died. I covered my mouth, and started to bawl in anguish remembering how your mother lay there alone that night telling me of how we were all alone in the world, and that when she was gone that no one would be greeting her.
A few seconds later you finally turned your face my way. I was shocked at what I saw. Your lips were stained with faint blood stains, all your teeth were hanging by a string, and your eyes were replaced with black glass shards. “Daddy, am I a monster?” You questioned me. I took a step back, only to trip over a loose nail sticking out of a floorboard. As I was falling all of the candles, which brought the room to life blew out. I hit the ground hard, sobbing as I did.
Suddenly I felt a warm sensation make its way up my body. I turned to my left with blurry vision finding my wife lying there with her hand behind her head, breathing slowly. A wide smile lit up my face, as I jumped up to hug her only to be stopped by the hilt of a blade, which was jabbed into her stomach.
I threw myself backwards fazed and confused. I took a deep breath as I watched my wife’s body grow more and more pale with every second, telling myself that this wasn’t real. I shut my eyes tight, and told myself that over so many times until I was lost again in the empty pitch black house.
I scrambled to my feet feeling, desolate and cynical. “You're not a monster honey... You're not.” I turned my back, and began moving my cement feet up the wooden stairs, which creaked with every step. My Labrador brushed by my leg, as he ran up the stairs barking at something he must’ve heard. I chased after him trying to find what he was barking at.
When I finally caught up with him, I was shaken by what I saw. You were there in the middle of some sunlight reaching in the window just above you, probably about the age you were when you died, sitting on a bed swiped of its sheets, alone petting my Labrador. I stood there wide eyed, and out of words. This wasn’t the same feeling I had before. This time it felt lucidly real.
When you saw me you smiled and stated, “Daddy you’re home, it’s nice to see you!” A shiver crawled up my spine as the words slithered out of your mouth. Something wasn’t right. “Eh, I- I’m sorry.” The words rolled off of my tongue with ease. “I left you here when you were only a little girl, and I was a fool.” I stared down at the floorboards, deprived of any pride I had left.
“You know you’re talking to a dead person, right?” Your voice was full of deceit. I lifted my head, as you made your way off the bed to try and touch me. “You’re not a monster.” I watched as you inched closer with every step. “It’s okay I forgive you, father.” A sudden burst of joy exploded in me as your words caressed my ears, and then without a trace you were gone.
I thought for a second, as a feeling of bliss blew over me. I grinned, turning my back to the now empty room, for I wasn't here to tell the truth, but to instead seek your forgiveness so I could move on with my life. I wasn’t even able to take one step before I was stopped by your ruthless hand, which pushed me down to the ground.
I fell ro the ground raising dust as I made contact with the wooden floor. “My body, and soul may have forgiven you, but my inside monster hasn’t, and that’s all that’s left of me thanks to you.” Knife in hand you started to swing like a crazy person. I stumbled backwards until I was cornered to a wall with nowhere to go.
I gripped the golden cross necklace hidden under my black shirt, and tore it away from my neck yelling, “In the name of, Jesus Christ I…” I stopped talking when I suddenly saw small white radiantly glowing orbs surrounding me, telling me so many secrets all at once. “Were these the ghosts you saw?” I wondered in my head. I looked at the necklace in my cold sweaty palm and repeated, “In the name of, Jesus Christ… I wish your soul peace.”
Your feet moved closer and closer to me every second along with the knife you held, as my dog just stood there and barked, paralyzed. I swallowed my last breath, and never released it as I finally told myself the truth, “You’re not a monster. You were just cursed, by me.” I got to my feet, reaching my hand out as I did begging for judgement from you.
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