<creepyshitlord@tf2.pug.na> hey nursery <creepyshitlord@tf2.pug.na> i heard ur a girl <creepyshitlord@tf2.pug.na> wana go out <creepyshitlord@tf2.pug.na> ive seen ur steam <creepyshitlord@tf2.pug.na> u look cute <creepyshitlord@tf2.pug.na> ;) <harbleudown@tf2.pug.na> who the fuck is this <nursery@tf2.pug.na> you and 500 other creeps. get out <aeroslide@tf2.pug.na> shit_on <aeroslide@tf2.pug.na> nursery 2 strong
Sigh. Not another one.
This shit happens every day.
I'm Alicia, aka nursery. And I'm a girl gamer.
It's not exactly easy. If you've been around the internet, you know what I mean. Everyone's a creep, and every closeted basement-dwelling pile of wasted genetic material wants to date you. And I mean everyone. Most just give up and move along after a couple tries, but this guy was different. He was persistent.
It all started off innocently, of course. It always does. I just shrugged him off and moved along. After all, I just expected him to live. And, for a while, he did.
<creepyshitlord@tf2.pug.na> weres nursery <creepyshitlord@tf2.pug.na> i wnt to talk to her <aeroslide@tf2.pug.na> oh god it's this guy again <nursery@tf2.pug.na> wtf get out of here <creepyshitlord@tf2.pug.na> i love you nursery <nursery@tf2.pug.na> the feeling isn't mutual <theblackdeath@tf2.pug.na> creepyshitlord_down
He came back. And kept coming back, and back, and back. Like he expected things to change. Every time I denied him. Why wouldn't this loser just give up?
<creepyshitlord@tf2.pug.na> NURSERY I LOVE U <nursery@tf2.pug.na> ew get away from me <creepyshitlord@tf2.pug.na> but i wnt to be with u <nursery@tf2.pug.na> this isnt the first time someone has wanted to. beat it you creep <nursery@tf2.pug.na> can someone get a mod in and ban this fucker? <trucktruck@tf2.pug.na> i've got decim8 on my friends list, hold on <nursery@tf2.pug.na> thanks truck User decim8 has entered chat. Mode +o given to decim8 <decim8@tf2.pug.na> I heard someone was being unwieldy in chat? <nursery@tf2.pug.na> it's that creepyshitlord guy, he wants to date me or something <decim8@tf2.pug.na> Another one? <decim8@tf2.pug.na> Stop being so attractive. :S <nursery@tf2.pug.na> ha <nursery@tf2.pug.na> no seriously ban him User creepyshitlord has been restricted for 1 year. <decim8@tf2.pug.na> that should do it <nursery@tf2.pug.na> thanks decim8
I thought that would be the end of it. It usually was. People finally got the image in their head that I didn't want to talk to them and they headed off to some other place to find another girl.
Five days later I got a friend request on Steam. The name was "shotgunwizard". I was selling some items in TF2, so I thought he just added me to buy my stuff. I accepted, and he said nothing for a minute.
Just then I got a steam message from decim8.
decim8: uh nursery you should probably get a look at this decim8: <shotgunwizard@tf2.pug.na> Hey, could I get a link to nursery's steam profile? I want to give her a little gift for her birthday. <decim8@tf2.pug.na> yeah, sure. It's <REDACTED> <shotgunwizard@tf2.pug.na> thanks <shotgunwizard@tf2.pug.na> i cnt wait to c her <decim8@tf2.pug.na> Wait a sec... <decim8@tf2.pug.na> OH FUCK IT'S THAT GUY FROM EARLIER <harbleudown@tf2.pug.na> What are you talking about? <harbleudown@tf2.pug.na> Hello? <harbleudown@tf2.pug.na> whatever <harbleudown@tf2.pug.na> !add soldier <tf2pugmessager2@tf2.pug.na> User harbleudown has successfully subscribed to the picking process as soldier.
Just then, I got a steam message from shotgunwizard.
shotgunwizard: hey baby nursery: get away from me creep shotgunwizard: i just want to give you a present shotgunwizard: for your birthday nursery: how do you know what my birthday is? shotgunwizard has asked you to trade.
I really shouldn't have accepted that trade, but I was genuinely curious as to what he got me.
In the trade window, he put an unusual hat. A Circling Hearts Medic Mirror--the hat I always wanted.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, unusual hats are hats with particle effects attached to them. They're hugely valuable and hard to get.
I was so excited! Maybe this guy wasn't so bad after all.
Then I hovered over the name.
"together forever"
nursery: NOPE NOT HAPPENING GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME shotgunwizard: but i got you what you wanted nursery: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WANTED!? shotgunwizard: because i love you nursery: GET AWAY FROM ME
I unadded him.
But only after I got the hat.
Days passed without any occurances. I thought it was finally over.
Then, I got another steam invite.
By this time I was paranoid as fuck. I checked people's steam profiles, their friends, their playing time, everything, to make sure they were legit and not just puppet accounts set up by that fucking creep.
The username was "b5nny". He was a well known player in the TF2 community, and I had recently asked him to sign one of my items. I was elated! I quickly added him and sent him a message.
nursery #gobraves: hey :3 b5nny: hey b5nny: You wanted me to sign one of your items? nursery #gobraves: you know it :D b5nny has invited you to trade.
I quickly accepted. I put my Medi-Gun and gift wrap in the trade window and he accepted. About a minute later, I recieved the gift in my tf2 inventory.
nursery #gobraves: thanks :D b5nny: no problem
I unwrapped the gift and there was my medi-gun with the tag "Gifted by: b5nny" on the bottom. There was another thing there, though--the description:
"me and nursery, together 4ever"
nursery #gobraves: ahaha nursery #gobraves: i guess you heard about shotgunwizard, huh? b5nny: i am shotgunwizard nursery #gobraves: no you aren't. stop, you're scaring me D: b5nny: i love you nursery #gobraves: seriously, stop it. it's not funny b5nny: i hacked this profile to get closer to you b5nny: baby nursery #gobraves: fucking stop this isn't funny b5nny: its not a joke nursery #gobraves: leave me the fuck alone! why can't you take a hint!? You are now offline.
I stayed offline for days, only going on to remove b5nny from my friends list and feed people information.
The news reverberated all over the TF2 community. Everyone knew about b5nny being hacked and shotgunwizard was hunted for by the entire community. They wanted revenge and b5nny's profile to go back to its rightful owner. But shotgunwizard's profile was nowhere to be found. He had dropped off the face of Steam, along with his five or so known alt accounts. Some diehard fans even contacted Valve to see which accounts shared his IP address (picked up by me when I was talking to him as shotgunwizard). None were found and b5nny's account stayed hacked.
<nursery@tf2.pug.na> is he gone? <decim8@tf2.pug.na> Nursery, where the fuck have you been? You've just dropped off the face of the earth, along with that shotgunwizard guy. <nursery@tf2.pug.na> i'm scared out of my mind <nursery@tf2.pug.na> he hacked someone's profile to get closer to me <nursery@tf2.pug.na> that's some fucking serious dedication <decim8@tf2.pug.na> Well, no one's seen him for a while. b5nny's profile has stayed silent for a while, valve's working on getting it back to him. in fact, i think i just saw him go online <decim8@tf2.pug.na> !add scout captain <tf2pugmessager3@tf2.pug.na> User decim8 has successfully subscribed to the picking process as scout. <tf2pugmessager3@tf2.pug.na> 12 user(s) subscribed: <tf2pugmessager3@tf2.pug.na> nursery, decim8, harbleudown, shockee, numblocked, darknekrid, fruitcake, desk, flatline, dondorito, choo_choo, 5llen_ <b5nny@tf2.pug.na> hey guys <decim8@tf2.pug.na> yo b5nny. get your profile back? <b5nny@tf2.pug.na> you know it. i'm doing a celebratory stream @ <REDACTED> <decim8@tf2.pug.na> cool, i'll be there
I viewed the stream. He was playing a pug, the same one I was in. Obviously, I was playing, but every time I died I went and checked the twitch.tv stream.
olokid: HUGE B5NNY 6K usedit: b5nny doesn't get 6ks, people just kill themselves at the sight of his awesomeness kipper: gg pug telemen: why is nursery afk? nursery2: i'm watching the chat, silly :v telemen: oh shotgunwizard: i love you nursery pulsee: holy shit b5nny airpipes are just too strong >>get fucked decim8 nursery: i know right shotgunwizard: nursery i know where you live ;) passivescout34: that's the first mid team b5nny has lost relit: it's fine they'll win anyway >>it's team b5nny after all kipper: oh god it's that shotgunwizard guy rolomon: that guy that hacked b5nny? nursery: WHERE shotgunwizard: nursery i love you Nursery has left the chat. rolomon: what was that shit about relit: i have no idea shotgunwizard: nursery come back
I saved the chat log and went over it. Did he really know where I lived? It wouldn't be above him based on what he's done before, but that just went to whole new levels of creepy. I was scared for my life at that point, so I decided to head over to decim8's house for the night. He lived just across town. I figured that, if he really did know where I lived, came to my house and saw no one there, he'd finally get the fucking hint and leave me alone.
God, was I wrong.
Decim8 completely understood and let me stay at his house for the night. It was not a restful sleep that night, though, and I was scared to go to my house the next day. Decim8 offered to come with me and stand around the house and make sure that no one was there.
The house seemed fine. No broken windows or locks, no misplaced items, no stolen belongings. Having a sigh of relief, I logged onto my computer.
And promptly shit my pants.
On my screen, a series of notepad windows were open.
I wish I didn't.
I turned my head around and in my face was the pimply, unwashed face of the legendary shotgunwizard.
In his hand was a wrench.
He promptly smashed me in the head with it, knocking me out cold for a few minutes.
As I slowly came to, I heard signs of a scuffle in my living room. From the floor I saw glimpses of decim8's shoes and shotgunwizard's shoeless feet running around the ground. I wanted to scream but I just couldn't, like I just wasn't strong enough. I was just watching this fight happen, like a movie.
They fought for a minute.
Then, decim8's feet stopped.
He hit the ground, bleeding out of his temples. He fell opposite to me, so that we were staring at each other.
He stared at me for a bit. A stare that asked the questions "why?" and "how?"
Then he closed his eyes.
Shotgunwizard's shoeless feet came up to me a minute or so after. He knelt down to the floor and stared directly at me. We looked into each other's eyes for a while, and then he slowly smiled and closed my eyes.
I came to about an hour later in a dark basement room. I was chained to a dirty, bloody table, and my mouth was taped shut. All my clothes were still on, but my shirt was torn off. I knew I was under shotgunwizard's "care" now. My entire body hurt, especially my head. About 20 minutes passed. I made no sounds, no attempts to struggle, not wanting to alert him.
Then, I heard boots coming down the stairs.
Shotgunwizard, or as written on the wall, "Bobby", looked directly in my face.
"Oh, waking up, are we?" he said. His voice was high-pitched and he didn't even have an Adam's apple in his throat. His hair was curly, red, and unkempt. Freckles dotted his body and his breath smelled rancid. He wore a stained orange t-shirt along with some ratty denim jeans on with holes in the kneecaps. And he was coming right for me.
He ripped the tape off my mouth but promptly put his hand over it. It smelled like Cheetos and sweat.
"Sssh. It's okay. Everything's all right. You're fine. You're just ready to live a new life with me."
He turned the lights on and I almost threw up.
He had at least 20 women shackled to the walls around him, all women with taped mouths and defeated looks on their faces. All were bleeding from various cuts on their bodies. I instantly recognized them as missing women from the TF2 community. Off the top of my head I could spot dfreeze, alchemist04, neena, and electrik. All great players, all gone missing at one point.
"Welcome to my abode." Bobby said with a clear hint of pride in his voice.
"I collect famous women on the internet and imprison them here. I call it my collection." He continued.
"You're just another drop in the bucket. A hard-to-get drop, but a drop nonetheless."
"We can have some fun later, but for now, I need to head off to the store. Even basement-dwelling wastes of genetic material need to eat, you know." He said that last part with a particular hint of venom in his voice--how did he know the exact words I used to insult him?
"Now, don't you go running off. No one's ever escaped from here. Except when you die."
He put the tape back on my mouth and walked back up the stairs.
I was stuck for sure. There was really no way to get off. Then I felt something on my leg. My phone--it was still in my pocket! I tried to fish it out with my leg somehow but I couldn't. I knew that phone was my only chance at getting out, so I had to get at it somehow. I shook my leg as best as I could to try and dislodge the phone and it finally fell out. My feet were unshackled to the table, so I picked the phone up with my feet and threw it at my face.
I'm writing this last part with my teeth. I've called 911, but they don't know where I am. The mods here know my IP from me posting here, or at least Bobby's. Reroute that IP and find out where it originates from.
PLEASE
HELP
US