This is my first pesta, so don't be too hard on me. I think it should be read word-for-word, 'cuz it's better that way. I hope Mutahar read this.
I used to love (insert nostalgic game here) when I was (a young age), but not anymore. I wanted to relive my childhood, so I looked on eBay for (nostalgic game). I eventually found the only one on there, really cheap and being sold by 'CreepyOldMan'. The game said (nostalgic game) in black marker on the front of the cartridge, but no sticker. I placed a bid, and won immediately. The game came super-fast, the next day actually, and I put it into the (console to play nostalgic game). There was a note in the box, I noticed, and it said 'YOU'LL DIE IF YOU PLAY THIS GAME AND BEAT IT IN 3 MINUTES. Here's how to beat it in three minutes.' I laughed at the note, and turned it over. On the back there were a set of instructions of, I gather, how to beat (nostalgic game) in a super-short amount of time. I booted the game up, and noticed that there was already a file on there. It was called 'DEATH'.
(Insert generic rant about finding: 666/420/69/U WILL DIE/HEIL HITLER; in "teh source code")
I decided to try this file first to see what the previous owner had done. As soon as I started, I saw (nostalgic games main protagonist/protagonists) standing in a pool of hyper-realistic blood and they were screaming hyper-realistically. The (walls/floor/sky/terrain/houses) were also covered in hyper-realistic blood. The character(s) face(s) was (were) missing the skin and muscle, and all that was there was bones. He (she/they) started shouting hyper-realistically at the screen in some other language, and then I heard a hyper realistic scream. The screen cut to black permanently. I re-booted the console and saw that the file 'DEATH' was renamed 'DON'T'. No matter what I did, it wouldn't let me select 'DON'T'. I gave up, and decided to try the easy game-beat instructions on a new file. After an age of doing ridiculous things, I reached the last step. It was simple. 'Die. Just Die...'. I got out a (weapon that you can use to kill yourself) and used it. After the death animation, the game froze. I checked the note to see what I had done wrong, and I almost cried out. The 'YOU'LL DIE IF YOU PLAY THIS GAME AND BEAT IT IN 3 MINUTES. Here's how to beat it in three minutes.' part of the note was replaced by ' I WARNED YOU! NOW YOU'LL PAY, (name of person)!' How did it know my name?
(Insert Tom quote here, something about Kyle going camping for the whole summer and Sunny-D being spilt on the nostalgic console of choice)
When I looked back at the screen, I saw the same face I saw in the 'DEATH' file. The main character(s) face was on screen. It said to me 'Die. Just Die...'. I heard a noise behind me, and saw a plushie doll of the main character(s) with that god-awful face. I screamed. It (they) screamed back hyper realistically. I woke up soon after that. 'Just a dream.' I thought. 'O RLY?' A voice said beside me. I turned and saw the character(s) standing at my bedside, with THOSE faces. Now, I don't get scared a lot by creepy shit, or anything, but this really scared me! So whatever you do, DON'T BUY (nostalgic game) from (every internet website known to man). Because after I saw those faces....I died! But before I died I saw someone looking at me and they looked like you, so now YOUR NEXT!
Later on, the police came to the house of the victim due to an anonymous call. However, no body was found but a note was found covered in blood stating "(insert scarreh message here)" and the victim's log, explaining the story. The log was full of drawings of skulls and blood with the words "DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH" written all around. After reading the log, one of the policemen died. The cartridge was taken away as proof and destroyed several times, but it kept reappearing. After research, "CreepyOldMan's" address was discovered, but there was no house at the address/an abandoned house for sale. So be careful with what you buy on eBay!