"No! Please....you can't do this!" I begged, and pleaded, but she didn't listen.
"I'm sorry" She said to me with her big beautiful dark colored eyes.
"You said you wanted me to stay with you! You said you would always be here! Why are you doing this?" Anger and sadness, such opposite emotions yet are always intertwined . My mind can't really deal with this.
"I want to see other people" And with that she left. Left me by myself. Left me alone.
My heart broken, my mind split. I don't know want to do anymore. I loved her. Now she's gone. After that argument with my girlfriend...my ex girlfriend, and she left, I couldn't take it anymore. I felt like a zombie. I just walked around aimlessly around my home. Just progressing with my life, but never getting anything actually done.
Go to work, come home, sleep. Day in, day out. I'm so sad, angry. I think I may be in some kind of depression. I'm only happy in my dreams, because that's the only way I can see her now.
Her long hair, her light skin, that beautiful smile of hers. Now she's gone. I could still hear her gentle giggle of hers whenever she was around.
I knew her before she knew me. I feel like such a stalker. I met her online, but she didn't even knew I existed. Until three years ago, she stopped by my house and the rest was history. She was very popular, I think almost everyone I knew knew about her. But, no one really liked her the way I did. She didn't have much of a body so that could be it.
I need to get my mind off it all. After the break-up, all my free time was eventually all on the Internet. Searching forum after forum, watching video after video. Ha. And everything in the world couldn't get my mind off of her. I tried dating but it didn't help.
That's when I rediscovered an older online indie video game.
I haven't played it in three years, so I decided to give it another go.
I had to download it again, and create its personal folder, like it's supposed to. All set up, I started the game.
I started in the room with the bed and the door that read "Exit" in it's pixelated blood.
I go under the desk and grab the key, open the dresser and the blood was inside it. This scared me before, but I played this so many times it didn't phase me.
Turning back around the wall opened up and turned into a hallway with the ladder. I go down the ladder and was in its next hallway, I forgot which room led to what, so I repeatedly check each one, before the gate room opened up, with the Pixalated Nightmare; Whiteface.
I turn back around, and go into the room and grab the object behind the bookshelf. Getting out, I go to the end of the hallway, admire the faceless portrait, and open the door, I was startled by the laugh that came out. It's been so long I forgot. I smiled.
Turning back around i see the picture now with red pixels on it, I go into the organ room , cross the corridor and pick up the pulsing heart, turning around the face jumps at me, and the game crashes. Same as usual. Nothing special, and the extra files were created.
First a picture of a black square.
And a text file named "attention".
"There is a way to turn an entity into data.
They have a life of their own, and it is difficult to distinguish them from normal computer files.
In our actions of everyday, while we sit at the computer, this byte entity observes us, and studies our every move and fear.
The game is simple: following the arrows is the key, if you get caught you lose.
A sound will predict its arrival
It is white face."
I launched the program again and it began.
I enter "Whiteface", and it continues as usual. With the game starting in the parking lot, "Let's play tag" it said in red blocky "blood". These graphics didn't really help give the fear this game usually brings on first time players.
Instead of visual aspects, it drives from psychological fear, which stays with you after you play the game. You always suspect Whiteface to be there. Watching. Looking. Seeing. I turn my head around to see if anyone is there, and I continue playing.
I followed the arrows on the ground as explained in the text file, and a message in red said "After you" in reverse was said. I followed the path given, and didn't lose. Only saw Whiteface once or twice. But I lost count how many times I thought Whiteface was there. Both in-game, and for real.
I continued to play, after the door opened I went through the elevator, and came out to the road. I walked a few steps and out popped Whiteface. This time it wasn't scary at all. Why should it? Game is very boring now, but why stop? You almost forgot about your ex. That was the whole point, remember?
I went down the path until I reached the gate which said in blood as usual, "One of them is lying". This...never made any sense to me.
And man, there's so much blood in this game, yet it's hard to be scared over blocky pixelation. It should have been more realistic, but then again maybe this game drives at nostalgia with its outdated graphics?
I turned back around and followed the trail of red pixels, and picked up the gate key, retracing my steps I opened the gate and went in to reappear back to the first hall, being greeted by faceless woman. But the kool-aid stain has been washed away. Going through I go back to the first room, having the "Pulsing Heart" I opened the red font "exit" door, which said "The End" in corner. But my steps kept making the sound even in the black screen. So I just sat, and waited. For almost eternity.
When suddenly a picture of whiteface was shown on the screen. Even this made me jumped because it took so long to appear I couldn't pinpoint the exact time when she does.
After button clicking it restarted the game, this time I was trapped in a cage, the entity circled around me, laughing at me, and jumped into my face, and the game crashed again.
This time two new files appeared. "I'm sorry" and "Take time".
In the text file it says:
"It's not going to let you go. I shouldn't have told you to go on.
Follow my instructions: don't let the game's appearance deceive you from now on. If things change. It arrives
Take some time and try to escape"
The image was of whiteface.
So I restarted the game, appearing in the the house with multiple rooms, and white fog. The game would only go back to normal upon getting a key, of course whiteface appears only when things change back though. So. Hold on.
This ain't a house, it's a hospital. And the white fog, it's...this part of the game is a flashback....or hold, are you playing as Whiteface in this part of the game? Something to think about.
After going through room 8, the outside, and finally getting Key 7 I opened its door, to find a dark room with a chair and noose. And the data entity, the pixelated nightmare. Whiteface.
"This is my room"
I see that....wait, no. Can't be. Could that be it's meaning? Did....Did Whitface as a human, kill herself? In this hospital? Oh, my god.
"Do you see how dark it is"
It's very, very dark, only being illuminated by it's presence.
I felt a chill cross my spine, my body ached. My room was getting very cold. I look up to see my window was opened, I got up and quickly shut it close.
"But I can look at you"
This part always gets to me. She slowly got closer and closer, I still cringe during this part. She gets so very close. And so slowly, it builds. Sometimes I cover my eyes.
"Look at me"
So I did, I looked at her. As she got closer.
"Are you scared"
Yes. I am, after all these years, I still am.
"I am scared".
Why is she the one scared? Hold on, I don't get it. No, this isn't a hospital, it's an insane asylum. I don't know....but I think Whiteface was a patient here, growing sick by the day, she wanted to end it all. So she did, but failed once before, slicing her face. Or maybe that scar was done by a parent in her young age. But whatever the case, Whiteface ended her own life. With that noose.
I went back to the game, I followed the pixels made out to be boring old blood, and went along until I made it to the exit door, and opened it.
I walked for a while, until I was in Whiteface's room again.
"Congratulations" "You made it to the end" "But you can't escape from here" "Stay with me" "I will always be here" "Looking at you"
I walked over to the noose and clicked it. But...that's the end of the game. In the end, you suffered the same fate as the one thing you try to avoid in the game. Suicide. That's how it ends. It crashes one more time, and two more files are created. "Goodbye" and "zero"
"It's alive It's real
sorry. I'm really sorry...
im scared. I don't want to die
From now on remember this: it's sound predicts its arrival
And the image, goodbye, is of a noose. And if you look closely, you can barely make out the image of whiteface.
I shut off my computer, went on top of my bed. In my dark, cold room. I close my eyes and fall asleep.
That night, I had a dream. I woke up in my dream to find soft wet grass. I stand up to find that I'm in bars. I grab the cold steel when a laughter pierced my eardrums, the shrinking loud laugh, I grabbed my ears in torment, I looked up to find a face of a pale white girl, her eyes sockets black and voided, her hair long and shredded, her toothy grin and scar on her cheek. Her head floating, and circled me inside the cage, she spun rapidly, her loud laugh vibrating in my ears, I heard a loud ringing in them.
The head spun, and spun, and spun and lunged itself into my face, and I woke up. Cold sweat flowing down my face. My breath heavy. I looked side to side to my messy room. It's morning now. I swallowed my spit in my mouth, and tried to relax. I got out of bed, and went on with my day.
I just made my way like a zombie as usual. I feel dead inside. I still miss her. She's gone. I just go about my day. But, now my minds stuck on two subjects. Imscared. And that nightmare from last night about the game. I was more concentrated on that than anything. Just thinking, over and over again. After work I was driving home. Stopping at a red light, my home is on the right. But, I was accidentally on a left turning line.
Following the arrows are the key.
I opened my eyes to see the red light now green, and an angry driver honking their horn, I had no choice but to go the wrong way. This was so annoying. But, different. It was strange. I wasn't driving anymore. I let the heavy cold metal contraption be its own driver, I just lightly guided it.
And strangely, there's was always an arrow pointing in the direction the car wants to go. My mind became blank, I just let it go.
It wanted to go left I went left. It wanted to go right, I went right.
I kept going. That's right, I kept going. It wasn't the car making these decisions, thats crazy! It was me. I was the one making the decisions. I didn't know where I was going but I was drawn to it.
When suddenly, my car just stopped. It wouldn't start. Where did it stop at though, I look around to find only a hardware store. I needed help with the car, I knew almost nothing on cars.
I turned the hazard lights on, I got out of the car, and walked into the hardware store. I looked around, just some ordinary hardware store. I looked to my side to see a sign, with an arrow saying "One way".
I followed it, only to find another, and another, it led me to one aisle. It had a few selection of items, but one caught my attention, the one with an arrow pointing to it.
What was the item? What was the item? Can you guess? Would you believe what item these arrows guides me to. I was shocked, my mouth was nearly on the floor, my heart pounded, my eyes wide and stayed still. My hands were sweaty. I reached over to this item and grabbed it. And stared at it. I ran my shaking finger along it. Do you know what it was? It was rope.
You know what I did? I bought it. I bought the rope. And I walked out the store back to my car, and it started up, no problems. I drove back to my empty home. I took off all the lights. I opened a door.
This is my room. It's cold.
I grabbed a wooden chair and the rope. I can't believe this. There's no place for the rope except for the ceiling fan, I went and I tied the rope to it. I had no other choice.
I stood on the chair. Tying the knot which sealed my fate. Slipped my head through. This is it. It's the end.
I kicked the chair back and the rope squeezed my throat tightly. I struggled and kicked. And then my body went loose. I hung there. The pressure on my face made it feel like my eyes were to pop. My mouth and eyes wide and open. I couldn't breath. My airways closed shut.
I could feel the warm red drops coming out of my nose, dripping onto the floor or into my mouth, tasting it.
The pressure was so great I could feel my face cherry red, building with pressure. My closed throat wheezing for air, my lungs burning intensely, my pulsing heart pounding, my hanging legs numb, my arms dead weight.
A very loud and intense ringing in my ear drums. This was the sound of blood rushing through the vains in my ears. It shouting, screaming.
Everything was getting darker and darker. My eyes falling closed, and in the darkness I saw my love who left me. Her beautiful smile, her lovely hair, her black colored eyes.
The scar on her face.
Her amazing laughter.
I smiled, I finally got to see her. I could accept my fate now. I was there. On the edges of life and death. A twilight of life.
My love spun around me, over and over again. When she jumped to my face and I came crashing down onto the wooden chair and it broke, with the ceiling fan coming crashing down hitting my head. I blacked out.
When I awoke, I had to clean up the blood off my head and face, I took a knife and carefully cut the rope off my neck. I feel so alive after so long. I feel amazing. I went to a hospital to see if anything was done to my body. Nothing more then a few stitches, painkillers, and mental checks to see if I'm still suicidal. I've been happier so they don't check so often anymore.
I went back home, cleaned the mess, repaired everything done to my home. Everything has gotten better. I had some free time so I checked my computer, when I saw the folder for imscared, I clicked it. When it hit me. There was another text file.
I went and clicked it open.
"Please. Do not go on the same path I did. I was alone, and scared. You deserve better. Someone better than me. Remember: I'm still watching you"