Hi there! Look, I know you came here looking for a thrill, and this wasn’t what you were expecting, but I promise that all of this will be explained before we precede – I just need to you to listen for a moment… Yes, that’s right. I need you to stop moving for a moment and just listen to me!

Please!?! Thank you.

I need this; it’s therapeutic for me and it makes me feel better when I get to explain myself. Sorry if I got angry there for a moment. 

It may be hard for me to admit this, but most of the people who have met me have called me insane. Now, now, don’t judge me like that, let ME explain.

In layman’s terms, my “insanity”, as they call it, is connected to the way that I think. Suppose you see a red bicycle, just a typical bicycle that’s red – can you see that in your head? I’m serious, just work with me for a moment and envision a red bicycle in your mind. Are you doing that, why would you not?! What could you possibly have planned for this evening?!

Now, you are probably thinking about a two-wheeled method of transportation. Handle bars, maybe with a little ribbon on them, a nice comfy seat, a small horn, maybe, and perhaps you even envisioned yourself riding on your own image, which is the same bicycle that I asked you to think up. I cannot do that.

Call it a lack of imagination, but the only bicycles I can envision are the ones I have seen. The old paperboy on my street once rode a red bicycle when he used to deliver the paper, and that’s the only image I get. I see a red bicycle, except that it’s all red, even the handle bars and the seat! I remember the paperboy riding the bike and his facial features. His skin is also red, as are his clothes, the exact same as his bike. If I were to imagine the bicycle as blue, then the whole image becomes blue, both the bicycle and the boy.  

But I know the paperboy’s bike was red because I saw it! It’s not my vision, it’s my mind that can’t produce an image of what I’m thinking about. I don’t know why. I mean I’ve literally seen the bike! Why the hell would this be such a problem?!

This has been happening for years, and I’ve been having trouble with more than just bikes. I’ve been searching and may have found a solution. That’s why you’re here. To help me. To become part of a great experiment.  

I want to understand people. I want to experience the way people think for myself so that I can become a better person. Reading books wasn’t enough, and college lectures were so boring to me. Through research, I eventually found my answer. 

You see, in the 1950s, there was an experiment involving planarian worms. A group of these worms would be trained to run a maze. Once their training was complete, they were killed, and the remains were fed to a second group of worms. This group of worms learned how to run the maze faster than the first group. It was hypothesized that the second group received the memories on how to complete the maze from the first group by eating them.    

That’s what I’m trying to do, except I’m not a worm. I’m a human being. There isn’t enough time for me to listen to everyone ramble off everything that’s on their mind! Don’t you get that?! I want to experience as many different ideas and perspectives as humanly possible right now! You should be honored, by the way.

Could you imagine how bad I would’ve looked if I had simply began eating you alive without explaining myself? You would’ve thought I was crazy, and how could I leave a bad impression on the first date? But now you at least understand where I’m coming from; you finally understand things from my perspective.

It’s time for me to understand yours.     

~ Skill Flea     

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