(Before I start this fan fiction I want to call out on one thing, I am proud of my gorgeous long black hair, but my stupid hairdresser has their head so far up their ass so much that they can't differentiate between long and short hair, you are a fucking hair murderer and I hope you go back to hairdressing school to learn the difference between long and fucking short)
You know what time it is kids?
Can't hear you!
M to the U to the T to the A to the H to the A to the R
Raise the roof and say "WOO WOO"
Alright, but before we start, Is there a Jimmy Stilton in the crowd? Jimmy, if you can hear this, I am dating your mother, she showed me your pictures, when I wasn't slapping her butt with them BAM! TAKE THAT JIMMY.
In a world where the public transport is affordable and baggy pants are the mainstream fashion we meet Mutahar in his evil wizard robes plotting against the world right before his coffee break, in the last adventure the SOG team managed to stop Mutahar's plot to conquer the world and ban cargo pants, when suddenly a time portal opened and from there, Mutacop a half Robocop half Mutahar cyborg robot gangster wizard level 99 from the future came out:
"I have come from the future to alert you from an imminent danger" spoke Mutacop in a robotic tone.
"Don't tell me, my subscription to Pretty Porcupines will be suspended"
"Yes, and you will also slip in the shower and hurt yourself, you won't break anything, but It will hurt and will leave you sore for the next day and you will have to help a friend move to a new house"
"That sounds bad..."
"It is...Ow and Mel Gibson will conquer the world"
"Now I must leave" Mutacop stepped back into the portal
"WAIT! before you go, how is the future? what is the fashion there?"
"A hybrid of Justin Bieber and Kim Jong Un"
"And who rules the world?"
" A hybrid of Justin Bieber and Kim Jong Un"
"Do people still say Swag?"
"People now say Foreskin"
"..." Mutahar was thinking "Sounds good"
"Sure it does, and now I shall go, peace out! Foreskin to you!"
"Foreskin to you too!"
The time portal closed and so Mutahar was left alone to think how to stop Mel Gibson:
"MMmmm...I got it!" Mutahar grabbed his keys and left his home, he walked across the street where Mel was living, Mutahar knocked on the door and a Mel with a disgruntled look on his face opened the door:
"Hey Mel, I was wondering if..."
Mutahar had his hands crossed behind his back he look shyly to the ground "Will you take me to the prom?"
"Yeah, are you trying to conquer the world?"
"..." Mel was thinking "MMmmyes, why?"
"Nothing...nothing..." Mutahar's eyes moved to Mel's dog that was sitting nearby, Mutahar with the reflexes of a cheetah got a hold of the dog and slammed it like a hammer on Mel's head "Only I can conquer the world!" Mel clutched in pain, he then pulled a cat from his pocket and tried to hit Mutahar with it, Mutahar blocked with the dog:
"Its on bitch!" Mel growled as he swung the cat once more trying to hit Mutahar in the head, Mutahar did a summersault backwards and landed on a trampoline that spawned on the spot, bouncing into the air, there the dog turned into a laser canon and shot a ray of Swag, Mel ripped off his shirt showing of his level 5 Saiyan muscles, his huge pecks deflected the laser, the then shot a kitty bomb from his mouth, the kitty clanged onto Mutahar's face, the kitty exploded sending Mutahar flying into space where he floated for eternity...not really because Mel teleported behind him to give him what for, but Mutahar was too fast, and kicked Mel in the face sending him back to his house, Mel crash-landed into his house like a meteor with Mutahar following behind, Mutahar pulled out a baseball cap canon from one of his pockets and shot a cap at Mel, the cap softly and carefully placed itself on his head, Mel screamed:
"Now I am on with the times! You monster!"
"Hi I'm George! and welcome to George's Discount Cars! I got all kinds of cars, Fords, Chevrolets, Toyotas, Renaults, Big, Small. YOU NAME IT! I am so crazy! that every car is 15% off! So come on down to-...OH crap...THEY ARE HERE!!! *Planes fly in the sky and bomb everyone to hell, including George, Mostly George, the screen cuts to a close up of a doll in front of a fancy background*
"And with every car, you will get a Mutahar doll! Press the button and hear what he's got to say"
*Someone presses the button on the doll's back*
"Hey guys and gals"
*Happy midi music plays in the background*
"Do you like Donuts? Do you like them with creamy interiors? Because here at Taradino's we got them! Let's see how our happy employers make the delicious donuts!"
*Screen cuts to a man with a chilled look on his face working at the kitchen*
"Well first we bake the donuts in our own oven, Steve takes care of that, then Lucy over there *waves at the other employee, the other employee waves back happily* covers them in special imported sugar"
"And what do you do?"
"Well I basically put my penis in and fill them with my seed"
"FANTASTIC! THAT SOUNDS DELICIOUS! *Screen cuts to a shot of the donut shop with the guy with the chilled look handcuffed and being pulled out the shop by the cops* "TARADINO'S DONUTS!"
And now back to our regular program! Mutahar and the Masters of the Mutaverse!
We meet back with Mutahar fighting Mel Gibson to the death, Mel pulls out an accordion that speaks:
"Hey there Mel! What can I help you with?"
"I need you to be a weapon"
"Jews again?" The accordion turned into a nuke launcher "Ready to serve some justice Mel!"
Mel pointed the nuke launcher at Mutahar, Mutahar loaded his cap gun:
"You don't want to do this Mel!" Mutahar said "We got you surrounded!" Suddenly Mel was surrounded by Mutahar clones, Mel growled and put his nuke launcher away, pulling out a huge sword, the Mutaclones charged at Mel trying to tackle him down, but Mel swung his sword around cutting through the clones like butter on the chest of a fat man with hepatitis, the real Mutahar used the distraction to float above Mel and summoned king DDD to fall flat on his huge butt on Mel's face, Mel kicked DDD back at Mutahar, Muta used his cheetah reflexes to swiftly dodge DDD as he flied out to space, Mel teletransported behind Mutahar and punched him in the back, sending him to the ground, Mutahar got back up quickly and grabbed his cell phone, he called the SOG team:
Meanwhile at the SOG headquarters in Kim Jung un's closet California the emergency phone rang, Flaky quickly ran out of the shower with a towel on "Oh man just when I was drying my spikes!" he picked up the phone "Yes? if you are calling for the mattress we are selling, Dusty already ate it"
"Urgh I hate to do this, but I need help!"
"Mutahar? What do you want with us?"
"Look just come here and bring the SOG twerps with you, for something you are leader"
"Sorry but..." Flaky looked at his nails uninterested "Me and the guys we are getting ready for another mission and Meds has decided to act like a stereotypical Scottish while wearing a shark costume, Dusty is trying to make sushi out of him, Viper's circuits need some rewiring since it seems he can't stop doing a fap motion with his left hand and Bree is sitting there slowly going emo over time...so sorry but no..."
A voice comes from the shower Flaky just ran from "C'mon darling you still need to scrub my back"
"In a minute Tyrin!" Flaky said "Sorry but no" Flaky hung up and went back to scrubbing
Mutahar had then an idea, he turned himself into an M&M.
A giant one! With lightsabers as hands! He swung his hands trying to cut Mel, but Mel shifted into a giant octopus with panties on its head and then they had a rap battle:
"Yo yo It is the M guy! and I'm gonna tell my homie Mel what's up in this bitch! The name is Mutahar and my power will get me far, you old man think you can top me? Bitch I am pimpin' and you just bore me, you are so old it's incredible you ain't limping, my rapping skills homeboy can't be topped, my hat is backwards that is proof enough that when rapping I can't be stopped"
Mel shot a nuke directly into Mutahar's face, after the huge explosion, both fighters were back to their normal forms, but now everything around them was destroyed, It was the apocalypse, and not only everyone was dead, there were zombies! radioactive zombies!
"Oh shit! what are we going to do?" Mel panicked, Mutahar looked at Mel "Time to teach these zombies a lesson of the M man!"
And so they both began to kick the zombie's asses, Mutahar used his pimping skills, slapping the zombies so hard that their heads would spin like crazy breaking the zombie's necks, Mel pulled out his accordion and turned it into a flamethrower burning the zombies into crisps.
The zombies suddenly stopped fighting and from the ground the zombie king crawled out naked, but with a crown on its big head, the zombie was giant, like a T-Rex, Mutahar jumped on Mel's and when he was high enough in the air, he shot his Swag laser from his eyes turning the zombie into a fabulous one! and so the zombie began to dance and all the zombies danced along:
"I'm dead and I know it!"
Everyone including Mel and Mutahar danced, but suddenly Mutacop came out from another time portal and shot Mel in the face with a laser, Mel's head exploded, Mutahar then looked into the camera with a smile and winked, the screen went into static.
Written by the fabulous Meds also writer of many other SOG fanfics starring the SOG team and THE Mutahar.