I wish to be perfect...I mean in way that cannot be obtained by normal means. I wish to be absolutely flawless at every little last thing I do. I don't care how I get it and I most certainly will do anything to get it. My name is already perfect so it is a start. Joshua couldn't be a more perfect name.
I really do love how wonderful my life is. My parents, my friends, my town, my city, my state, and my dog they are all perfect. I however, do not feel perfect. Whenever I try to write about something lovely, extravagant, invigorating, and just outright unforgettable it never works.
None of my perfect people in my perfect life find my work perfect. I find it so infuriating! How the hell can someone tell me that my work is imperfect. I am perfection itself! It is impossible for me to not be perfect! I should inherent my parents perfection! I would kill to obtain my writing perfection!
My family has never understood my anger and I. I'd pace angrily back and forth as they laughed and spat at my sloppy handwriting. My lack of detail. My lack of able to bring in the final punch! The killing blow! I wish to murder my work if it means getting a good ending! I burned my past writings!
I burned it all! Every last bit of it! I'm sick and tired of this family! Of my perfect friends! My stupid mutt! Every single last one of them could be sacrificed to the damned angel of the bottomless pit of despair! I was searching online for a way to be rid of my perfect life!
If I took away everything that was so perfect I could finally be perfect! That's it I shall burn down my and their houses while they sleep! I shall do it in the name of the angel of the bottomless pit! I would have to wait until night if I wished to fully use this to full effect.
I think I might wait actually. Maybe there is another way without be ridding of everything. Perhaps I could speak with this angel I have been looking up. Perhaps I can summon him! Perhaps I can get him to do this all for me.
So I began drawing the sign to summon him when my parents entered the room with concerned looks. They stopped me from drawing it and started looking at what I was doing on my computer. They had sad looks and must of been shocked as they simply said nothing to me.
They took away my computer. I no longer had the means to fully summon him without the references so I didn't screw it up. They were going to have me visit a therapist. I was beyond pissed but I had to deal with it. I would fake getting cured of whatever mental disorder they thought I probably had. After that I would finish my plot to destroy our house and the others that mocked me.
Once they had a meeting setup I did put up a fight with them. However, I was quickly put in the car and was on the way to the therapist. Once there I tried running away but to no avail. I looked at the therapist with a mean glare.
The therapist says "So what has been troubling you lately?"
I say "My family is so damn Perfect!"
He says "And how does that make you feel Jonathan?"
I say "My name is Joshua! My name is perfection! That awful name Jonathan is not associated with a perfect being like myself!"
He says "So do you feel angry and troubled with your family Joshua? What seems to be the issue?"
I say "They are perfect and they make me feel imperfect." Tears rolled down my face as I realized it then. It wasn't that I was perfect just yet anyways, it was that my family made me feel imperfect. They were disabling my full potential. They were the problem here! They were the reason I was not perfect!
He says "So you believe being imperfect is a flaw, or do you think it makes you weak? How do you feel about imperfection?"
I say "I feel like those who are imperfect are weak. Those that cannot become perfect will be crushed. Those who are not perfect in all that they do are really lost causes. I cannot stay imperfect for long. I must strive to have perfect story and hand writing skills. That is what my family mocks me about."
He says "So do you feel weak?"
I say "Yes I do. At my current imperfection I cannot be strong. I cannot have the skills I need to be perfect. Perhaps I need to be even more than just merely perfect. Perhaps I need to beyond that of even what could be described as such."
He says "Well I am sorry to say this but we are out of time for now. These meetings will occur every Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday from 5-6 p.m., so I shall see you for the next two days and then next week and so on."
I smiled and nodded and stood up and walked out of the room. My parents were in the hallway at the entrance of the building. They looked rather pleased with themselves. They looked like they had just cured some sort of horrible virus dormant within me. Their smugness made me sick to my stomach.
We exited the building and into the car. I buckled in the seat belt and gazed out to the void that was the night sky. They then looked and me as if I had something very important to say to them. I didn't want to say as much as word to the scum that were my parents but their gaze was so intense I cracked.
I said "It went well."
my dad said "So son do you think you'll be wanting to catch up on homework and go back to school tomorrow?"
I said "Yeah I think I will be able to do that. I've learned a lot about myself through the session. I feel reborn."
My mom said "Good now let's go home."
They felt so accomplished with the nonsense that they were forcing on me. I felt so angry about it all. I felt so done with even bothering to make conversations with them. However, sometimes I knew they would force words out of my mouth and enjoy as I squirmed on them.
Once we were home I darted to my room locked it and went on my computer like always. I started searching up ways to become perfect. A lot of them dealt with personality, actions, kindness, and other basic, boring and otherwise useless information.
I then found a site talking about an angel that could grant complete and total perfection. I would have to do a ritual to summon them. However the requirements were absurd. I simply exited out of the pages and felt flabbergasted. Perhaps there was no real way to obtain the perfection I desired.
Then I heard a hissing sound coming from behind me. I turned around and on my bed was a snake with scales black as obsidian, eyes as red as crimson, a long thick body of that of a pythons, and it was about as long as the average python. The only reason I could even Identify that it was a python from a past trip with my horrid family to the zoo.
I gazed at it's long thick mass and it seemed to be just starring at me with it's red eyes. Suddenly I heard what sounded like scratching at the door. I heard the whimpering of my dog from the other side of the door. looking at the door with intensity and my dog began yelping. Slowly the sound of scratching and my dog stopped.
I looked back at my bed and the snake was gone. I was curious and got out of my chair and unlocked and opened the door. I looked at my dead dog with a great sadness. My dogs body was contorted and twisted in a gruesome and horrific manner. I started crying and my parents ran up to see me crying at my dead dog.
Without even asking me they grimly grabbed his corpse and put it in a trash bag and went outside. I looked at them in horror. They were giving me the same look as if I killed him. My brother walked out of his room and looked at me with horror and great sadness.
He said "Why the hell did you kill our dog!? Didn't you love him!? I know he was growing old and dying of cancer but you didn't have to fucking kill him!"
I said "I didn't fucking kill our dog asshole! This snake fucking did! It used it's demonic powers to slaughter our dog!"
He said "I watched from a crack in my door and watched as you mangled him! There is no fucking snake! You murderer!" he punched me in the face. My perfect life was already cracking at the seems. First the therapist, and now this!
I pushed my brother away from me "Fuck off Gabriel! I didn't fucking kill our dog! I know I didn't I was in my room! I know I was! I am certain I couldn't have!"
He said "Do we have some sort of long lost brother I don't know about!? Cause it sure as hell looked like you killing him!"
I said "Whatever, I'm going to my room!" I roughly shoved him away and darted for my door and closed it behind me and locked it panting. In my horror I looked at my bed and the same damn snake was back looking at him.
I said "What the hell do you want with me!"
The snake said "Well Jonathan you wanted perfection right? Well for me your going to have to kill the ressssst of your family. I ssssshowed you an example with your pet. Now you sssssshould be able to do the rest of the work for me!
I said "How did you make it look like I did it!? I was looking at you the whole time! How can you be at two places at the same time!? What the hell are you anyways!? Why the fuck did you kill my dog!?"
The snake said "I am the angel of the bottomless pit. I fill the holes in peoples hearts. I show up when you dearly need something in your life. I will fill that void. As for the dog I needed a sacrifice to fully retain my form as the snake. As for the dog I used a fellow angel to guise as you and kill the dog for me. I knew you were to chicken to do it yourself to sustain me for your wish to be perfect.
I heard a knocking on my door and turned around and opened it. My father and mother were looking at me with worried faces. I heard sirens at the front of our house. The police knocked on our door. They carried me to them and I was handcuffed.
I was told my rights and after being driven to the local Juvenal hall and placed in it. Once there I was told I was going to be here for about a couple of weeks until court could be in session for my trial. I was placed in my own cell and sat in the bed sobbing.
I then heard a hissing from underneath my bed. I knew that it was that damned angel. I knew he would only get me into more trouble. So I laid on the side of my bed and closed my eyes and covered my ears. I could still hear it's hissing perfectly
The snake said "Sssssilly boy, you cannot block out what an angel has to say to you. I will help you esssscape if you kill your family. Then after that you shall become so perfect no harm shall come to you anymore."
I open my eyes and uncover my ears."How will you help me escape!?" I look as a the overwatch of this place was giving me a glare as if I were talking to thin air. I mean they must see this snake it's goddamn huge. I am not sure how they don't see it.
The snake says."I am not feeling so well ! I need your assistance!" I black out and before I knew it I was outside of my house. My feet rugged and bruised. I was looking at my house. I looked at my hands holding a gas tank and some matches. I knew then that the road to perfection was about to begin...