The Space Pirate From Planet 0Edit

I am a huge fan of old movies from the 80s. My favorites are the sci-fi ones. I know it is wierd for a girl 18 years old like me to be into that kind of nerdy stuff, but I am. My friend works at an old video store, and whenever the store gets new videos, I am told by him in advance and I always rent them as fast as I can. One day, I was browsing the old VHS tapes the store had, but I became bored because I already saw all of them, until one caught my eye. It was a movie called "The Space Pirate From Planet 0" and had a woman in a bathrobe cowering in fear at something in front of her. I brought it to the counter, and showed my friend.

"Huh, never seen this before, looks like you may have finally found something that may scare you," he said.

"I doubt it, there has to be some information on this movie, and I'm gonna it," I said, leaving the money on the counter.

When I got home, I went on my computer, and typed in the name of the movie. Whenever I find a movie I have never seen, I research it, so I can't be scared of whatever happens because I already will have known what happens. I know it's cheap, but sue me, I don't care. However, I the only information on this movie I found was that a girl was killed while filming, so I decided to just watch it, and be prepared for any jump scares.

The movie started after a couple of advertisements for films from the 80s. When the film got to the halfway point, I came to a fast conclusion. This was one of the worst pieces of shit I have ever seen. The acting was as wooden as can be, the only action I could see was a small fight seen between the main guy, who was actually quite attractive, and another guy with lasers. From what I can gather, this film was about a duo of space cops searching for a pirate that lives on Planet 0, the planet closest to the Sun, even closer than Mercury. The pirate is wanted for murder, has lost his ship and crew, and according to the description, he is 7 feet tall, and weighed about 3000 pounds. When I saw a picture of him, he looked just like Jabba The Hutt, only taller. 

Something wrong I noticed was that despite there being 2 heroes, only the aforementioned cute guy was seen, and the other was supposed to be a girl. However, I could not care less by this point, as I just wanted this movie to end. I was verbally yelling at this film, cussing, and yelling every swear I could think of at it. Eventually, I got bored before the climax, and since it was too dark, I decided to just go to bed and return the movie to the store the next day. And with that, I turned of the movie and went to bed.

When I got to bed, I was awaken by someone shaking me.

"Why are you sleeping Agent Jenna, wake up, we think we may have found the pirate," said some mysterious voice.

I opened my eyes, and saw the handsome man from the movie standing in front of me. I quickly realized I was in the same set from the movie. I figured this was a dream, so I decided to go along with it. Me and the handsome man, named Hugh, arrived from our spaceship to a planet, where the supposed pirate was. When we got on the planet, we noticed all the people looked like the picture of the pirate. We asked around for knowledge of where the pirate was, and we were directed to some sort of shack. However, when we got there, we were shot by a lasers, most likley coming from the pirate, and a laser just barely scraped my arm, and I was hurt badly. Me and Hugh quickly fled the scene.

My arm was hurt badly, so Hugh decided to carry me home. While I was alone, I decided to try pinching myself, and when I did not escape the dream, I came to a quick, but crazy conclusion, I was in the movie. I figured this was impossible, but there was no other answer I could think of. Despite my being removed from reality, I actually liked being put into a movie. I always wanted to be an actress, and this is the closest I could get. I figured all I had to do is get to the end of the movie, and I would be free.

Hugh and I set up camp in the woods because we found out we could not find our way home. We set up our own individual tents, and I was ready to get to bed. However, Hugh came into my tent.

"Hey Jenna, I know this is kind of random, but I have decided, I think it's time we actually had sex. I know how you and I are still only 18, and were both virgins, but I thought about what you said a couple days ago, and I think it's time we take our relationship to the next level."

I pondered the situation, and I decided "why not?" A hot guy who pretty much saved my life deserves a little something, so I went along with it. Before I knew it we were both down to our underwear, and we kissed. However, we heard a noise coming from outside. I got scared, and told Hugh to check outside. He was angry that he had to wait, but he eventually left in just his boxers. However, he did not come back for about a half an hour. I decided to look around for him while taking a bath robe to cover myself since it was kind of chilly.

I searched around till I found an area where the trees stopped and formed a circle. I looked on with horror at what I saw. I saw Hugh lying down dead with his insides being eaten by a monster. The monster quickly turned around and saw me. I knew who this was, this had to have been the pirate we were searching for. The monster quickly sat up and walked toward me. He towered over me and spoke.

"So, you must be this little boy's girlfriend. It's alright, he actually put up a damn good fight, but once I pushed him on his back, all I had to do was sit on hit face, and he died instantly," the monster said.

I backed up, but I was too paralyzed by fear to run. He slowly walked toward me, and when I could, I ran as fast as I could. However, I came to a tree, which blocked my path, and before I could get out, the pirate had caught up to me, putting his arms next to my head so I could not escape.

"Hey, you're pretty cute," said the pirate.

Before I knew it, the monster quickly grabbed me and threw me on my back. I was prepared to be eaten alive, but instead of him eating my insides, he ripped of my robe, exposing me in my bra and panties. It is then that I came to a realization, the pirate had no clothes, which was strange, considering the other members of his species all wore something. I then knew what he wanted as soon as my bra and panties were ripped and thrown away, he was planning to rape me.

He sat down on his knees while I tried to fight him, but it did nothing. He lifted up his belly to reveal a very erect penis. Without time to react, he wrapped my legs around his waist, and inserted himself into me. He was drooling all over me with both drool and sweat. He hovered himself over me, and his stomach and belly were hanging over my head, while I could tell his face was enjoying this.

It became quicker and quicker, and I think I could feel blood coming out of me. This felt like it was going on for an hour. He started to ease up, and I knew he was almost done with me. He finished by ejaculating himself while not even leaving me. However, he did not leave, and I could see that his arms were starting to weaken. Before I knew it, his arms gave way, and he was lying on top of me. Me being only 5 feet tall and weighing 100 pounds, this did not look good for me. I knew he was only doing this to torture me some more. My feet, arms, stomach, and waist were completely covered with his fat. My face was being pushed up by the ground to his stomach, making it hard to breathe. I did my best to try to move my arms, but that was no use. I felt myself slowly passing out, pretty much guaranteeing my death. I eventually passed out.

The next thing I knew, there were people rolling the pirate off of me. One of the guys went up to me.

"Thank god you're still alive, looks like that pirate had a heart attack and collapsed onto you. You're lucky you survived."

He was right, I was completely lucky that I survived. I could feel myself falling back asleep.

The next thing I knew, I was in my real room in the real world. I guess that whole ordeal was just a dream. I looked next to my bed, and there was the movie on my drawer. Was I trying to be told something? Did I have that dream because I was being taught a lesson to not hate this movie? I passed off these questions, and brought the movie back to the store, finally ridding it from my life.


A year has passed, and I found myself a boyfriend. I became pregnant after our first night of sleeping together, three months after that whole ordeal. One night, my stomach started kicking, and my boyfriend started to get ready to drive to the hospital. But before I knew it, I blacked out. I woke up, and I felt like I just gave birth to my baby. However, I was still in my room. I looked around and my boyfriend was no where to be seen. There was a note next to me, which read:

"Hey girly, thanks for giving birth to me. Don't worry, I'm not your baby in any way, you were just my gateway to the real world, and it just took me a year to get out of you. I will be back to see you again, and who knows, I may steal another one of your boyfriends.

Love, your space pirate from Planet 0."

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