Are you a lonely person? Do you seek someone to talk to? Are your Grandchildren terrible shits that don't care about you and never visit you in your country side home? Well then, the following ritual will help you with your loneliness.
To perform this ritual, you will need the following:
-A Door that leads outside and Lock
-Table and Chairs
-A clean and tidy room.
First, put the Table and the Chairs into the clean and tidy room. Next, make the tea and set out the snacks. Paint "WELCOME" onto the door and place the ashes in a line across the bottom of the door. Lastly, lock the door. Now you must wait until a few minutes before midnight. When it is almost midnight, go to the locked door. When the clock strikes midnight, unlock the door and sit at the table. In a few minutes a Man or a Woman, depending on your gender, wearing heavy clothes will walk into the room and sit down. Due to the clothing they are wearing, you cannot see their face. Now all you do is talk to them. If they run out of tea, politely offer them more. If they deny your offer, they will soon leave and depending on how you were, they will say "Thank you for being such a kind Host" if you were polite. If you were not polite, they will leave without saying anything. There is only one rule for this ritual, and that is to never say your name. If you told them your name, you will hear it being whispered for the rest of the night.
-Written By: LOLcatsAce